He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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