Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize