Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
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Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
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Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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