Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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