Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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