Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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