all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
