thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
