just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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