Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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