My first STD was from a foam party
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
