I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
