so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
this beer tastes like vomit already
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I FOUND THE LEGS
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
