hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
