I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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