school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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