i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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