There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
