i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize