The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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