there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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