he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
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My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
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How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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