Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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