if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize