2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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