Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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