i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
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