I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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