On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize