p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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