fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
