MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
