fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
