Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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