dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
