I puked a lego.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
