I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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