capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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