Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She's the barista slut.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
