Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
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Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
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I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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