i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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