that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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