hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
