She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We have started to decorate penises.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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