Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
