Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
