you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
