i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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