My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
