when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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