So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
