somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
