How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
