they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
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they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
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I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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