we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You're like the curious george of whores
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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