im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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