Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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