I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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