I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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